I think I should've had an entry like this 2 weeks ago, where it marks my one full month in Chapel Hill. It didn't happen because........ Actually I don't really recall why. HAHA. Was I on a road trip or something?? I think I was.
I remember the first day I landed. It was a rainy day, I finally landed at my destination after 30 hours of flight + transit. 30 hours of deprived sleep, 30 hours of not showering and then ending up in a completely foreign place --- it wasn't easy to get by.
That first night, I had Wendy's for dinner because everything else was closed. I was SO sleepy while I ate reluctantly just to fill my stomach without deriving satisfaction from the food. I was so thirsty because I didn't know where I could get water. I had no water bottle so I could only drink of the water cooler. I didn't know how I was going to settle my meals in the future, how I was going to communicate with Americans with my chinese-influenced broken english, how I was going to buy my necessities, how I was going to settle my modules and so much thoughts came crashing down on me. I didn't have my comforter at first that night because I didn't know where to collect it. So I intended to sleep without it on the beanbag but I was freezing. And at the same time, not sure if it was due to the lack of sleep or I ate something wrong, I had a bad heartburn from indigestion. I felt cold, nauseous, had periodical accelerated heartbeat (due to heartburn) and a wrenching stomach. I paced back and forth to the watercooler, whch was right beside the lift to drink some water, hoping I would feel better, but I didn't.
At that point, I was so close to breaking down. Given the bad weather, how bad I was feeling, at a foreign place with no one to turn to, my tears gave way. I felt a sudden surge of regret for coming here. I felt so, so bad. I missed everything about home. I wished Kw was there to hug me and tell me everything is going to be okay and then cuddle me to sleep because that's what he did a couple of times. I tried to sleep but I got woken up before I could fall asleep due to the heartburn. At about 12ish am, I got up to text Kw. I Skyped with Kw for a bit and felt a whole lot better. I took the Po Chai Pills I brought from S'pore (thank god) and Rachel also came back with a waterbottle I asked her to help me buy while she was shopping at Target so I finally could hydrate myself properly.
At bout 1-ish, I felt much better and was about to go to bed. And that was when the fire alarm went off... -_- It was a really cold night due to the rain. Thank goodness I brought a hoodie with me while I evacuate. Fortunately, it was a false alarm. I really don't know how much worse it could be for me on that first night.
This is like a confession because I've never told anyone I cried the first night I got here. Hahahaha.
And now...........
I'm losing track of time here. I do lose track of time when I'm back in NUS but it was for a completely different reason. Back at home, by the 3rd-4th week of school, I'd stressing out about projects/assignments and presentations and catching up with my tutorials. In class, I'll be struggling to concentrate because classes can be up to 3 hours long!! By 6-7th week, I'd be stressing out over mid-terms and after mid-terms, I'll be stressing out over more projects to be completed during recess week... In a flash, I'll be double freaking out over exams and suddenly the semester is over.
Now in UNC, the maxxxxxxxx no. of hours of lesson I have in a day is 2.5 hours. I only have 2 classes everyday, except for Friday where I'll only have 1 class that's freaking 50 minutes. So I put my time to more meaningful uses like going to the gym, yoga and pilate classes etc etc. I have occasional homework and quizzes but they really are nothing compared to what I used to do back at home. I lose track of time because we're always looking for things to do, organising road trips/dinners, chilling @ each other's dorm etc etc.
And now 6 weeks have flown past. What's been different?
1. I consciously eat more fruits and vegetables than I ever had in my entire life.
I'm really more health-conscious over here due to how much more fried and fast food-ish stuff they have here. I try not to eat them but........okay I'm having fast food once a week in Biz school because dining hall closes for lunch by the time my classes end and it just tastes so good. :( BUT that's also the reason why I go to the gym twice a week now because I feel too guilty if I don't sweat it out. And I counterbalance by eating lots of vegetables and fruits!! I think the amount is substantial because (BEWARE: I HAVE A GROSS CONFESSION TO MAKE!!!!) I poop almost at the same time of the day EVERY SINGLE DAY, which.........has never happened before!
2. I do my own laundry.
Laundry at home is always hand-washed (even though we have a washing machine at home) and air-dried! But there's no way I can air dry stuff here so I can't hand-wash my undergarments and stuff and start hanging them all over the place. So I have no choice but to dump everything into the washing machine, which supposedly will damage the delicate clothing like undergarments, but I did it with the help of a delicates bag. I'm in a love-hate relationship with the clothes dryer. You dry your laundry in one hour as opposed to a day back at home but it has shrunk some of my clothes. :( ok I was dumb. I've never handled a dryer before and I had absolutely no idea what it would do to my clothes..........and what it did was shrink my newly-bought sweater from F21 to half its original size.
-____- #housewifefailures
3. I feel free.
I have the freedom I've never had before in my life. I can go to anywhere without having to tell anyone. I can hang out till 12am and not be worried bout upsetting anyone. I can basically do anything I want without reporting to anyone. I'm never that sort. With or without a curfew, I've always done things this way (and pretty much upset my mum cuz she hates how I just disappear for a night without informing her) and it's became a habit of not telling people about what I do or my whereabouts. I don't mean that I go out alone in the middle of the night to some shady place to hang out around strangers. I'm always with a group of people if I hang out at night. And I absolutely love my folks and not want them to worry about me. But I just like it this way.
Other than about how I live differently, the one major major major thing I love about this place is how nice people are over here. I mean, on the whole, Americans are generally more approachable and friendly than glum-looking Asians in Singapore. But in the south, people are so nice in a way that it is beyond what I thought. Everyone talks to everyone here. It's weird if you don't hold the door for people. No one walks at top speed and bump into everyone without saying sorry. People stop by to offer help if you look like you're lost. There's been several occasions that people walk up to us and asked if we were Singaporeans/students from NUS and carry on a conversation. It's usually by our weird-unofficial-but-distinguished-accent or our school t-shirts. Usually the former, which I find to be amazing!
Isn't it so awesome? Everyone's happy and courteous and friendly. But I did come to a conclusion the other day with Kahswee. We were walking to Ben and Jake's dorm and it was like 16 degree celsius I think? We recalled the horrendous heat in Singapore and can't help but understand why people feel angsty in Singapore. The weather's burning, you are always perspiring and feeling stinky and these stuff happen: people push you in the train, people refuse to get out of the fucking way when you're alighting the train, you run after the bus but fail to catch it, you sit on the reserved seat and people stare intensely at you, your hands are full of things and no one gives a fuck to hold the door for you, people raise their hands and talk nonsense in class for the sake of class part, people refuse to get their ass off the chair after they are done with their lunch because they are blind to realise how fucking crowded the canteen is, the bus is always behind schedule......................and the list goes on. People sweat like dogs and still meet unpleasant people, how can anyone not be angry in an environment like that?
It's like a cycle. The weather's hot = you get uncomfortable = you get touchy = people get you angry = you make people angry = people make you angrier = no one is ever nice to anyone in this sad world. So I guess why we behave the way we behave is partly associated with the bad weather we experience. So, nope, it's not that Singaporeans want to be cold and unhappy. We can't help it!
The temperature's getting really low here. In the morning, the temperature is usually around 16 degree celsius and I already can't walk around in a tank top (after perceiving myself as a cold-proof person). In the afternoon it's usually a little warmer around 20-24 degrees? But when the wind blows............it's not as fun as it sounds.
I'm looking forward to watch the leaves gradually turn red. Till then! :)
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