Resilience?

Yet another night of my disappointment.

Did I overestimate myself? Did I luck out? Am I getting dumber by the day?

I used to be filled with so much fighting spirit, so much positivity. Now I'm just getting by every other day feeling so bogged down by expectations and disappointments. I can't figure out what's wrong. Could it be just because I am so used to have things my way, so much so that I can't handle setbacks?

I really wish I could live simpler. Expect lesser. I always think that I can. But I can't. People say that life is about being happy. I am 100% convinced that that should be the way. But why don't I feel happy? Why don't I ever feel satisfied? Feel contented? Have I been looking things with a tunnel vision, turning a blind eye to so many other things there are to this life besides what I think my life is all about?

My life is now about sacrificing today for a better tomorrow that seems to only get further away from me every time I try to take a step closer.

Just how long more until I break?