Dejected.

Rejection.




I don't think I have ever faced as much rejections as I do now in uni. Throughout my life, I usually don't have major problems excelling in the things that I do. I had no issues in getting to where I want to be. But the past 2 years have been like a roller coaster ride for me. Sometimes I wonder if my luck has been used up and that I've exceeded the quota.

Sometimes I happen to surprise myself and perform beyond my own expectations. But most of the time I find myself dealing with failures.






"It's not that you're not good but.. ... ...".





If that statement is true then I guess I'm just not good enough. No matter how much I try, how much I hope, it's not enough.

I know I should pick myself up. Losers never quit. What doesn't kill you makes you stronger. Good things come to those who wait. The ones who give up don't know how close to success they are. If things happen this way, there must be a reason. Something better is waiting and I just don't know about it yet.

However, at this point, I am really disappointed. I know I shouldn't be. I still do well in many things that people don't. But it feels so bad to be given hope, and have it all taken away. I really wasn't expecting much initially. But I began hoping again. I began building up my expectations. And have everything crumbled down again. I can't help but feel like I'm just not good enough. And maybe I never will be.

It seems like every time I pin my hopes on something, it just never happens. Every time I start thinking about the bright side of things, about the future that could have been, the dream always vanishes, like it's never mine before.





What have I learnt from this?

Just try my best not to have any expectations again. I'm getting tired of aiming for the best. Tired of setting high expectations for myself and keep failing again and again. Tired of trying to make my loved ones proud. I just want to live life as it is and learn to take things easy. It's just too exhausting, too straining to shoulder all these expectations.

Why am I always working so hard? Why am I always living for the future? How do I know I'm always going to have tomorrow to live for? Why can't I just live like everyone else? Just be happy and contented with what I have.






真的累了。

Kw's double 2s!

And here comes Kw's 22nd birthday celebration!!!

The celebration was postponed because we both fell sick on his birthday weekend :( both of us had high fever that went up to 39 degree Celsius and throat infection. (Which resulted in my taking MC on the 2nd week of work and I'm still recovering from the illness T.T)

Buttttt postponing the dinner had resulted in full attendance! So I guess it wasn't a bad thing after all!

Given Kw's love for steamboat and BBQ, I suggested Mookata so we can have the best of both worlds! After some research and Jason's suggestion, we decided on the newly opened branch at Serangoon Gardens - Tomyum Kungfu!

They don't take reservations on Friday and weekends so we had no choice but to queue and there was a huge swarm of people waiting in line, and every group had at least a party of 5. We braved through the hunger for about 45 minutes and we finally got a seat!!!

The pork set that's suitable for 5-6 people. 

The chicken set that's for 2-3 pax! For some reason they like to add quail eggs to stuff. 

The veggie that's included in the set and the must-have in every Thai restaurant - Thai Iced Tea! 

And we dig in!!! 

Platter of beef and sambal kangkong!

The bowl of brown sauce is a mixture of quail eggs, sesame oil, soya sauce and some other stuff which we were suppose to dip the meat in before cooking. YES THIS WAS GOOD TOO.

Given our insatiable love for kangkong, we ordered a serving of fried kangkong, which is one of their signature dishes! It came with a sauce (on the top left hand corner of this picture and it deserves more camera focus than this!!!) which was like a mixture of some spice and coconut milk. I was initially skeptical about FRIED kangkong but this is really good!!! There were mixed feelings for the sauce, Jennifer and I loved it!! But some of them didn't like it. To each his or her own, try it for yourself!

The fried kangkong was also good on its own. The batter it was fried in masked the veg's taste and it was just crispy and fragrant! The sauce (imo) had a rich and smooth after-taste which I loved!

The stove burns on charcoal instead of gas can which is more authentic and makes the meat taste better! The oil from the meat didn't get all mixed up in the soup like it did the first time I had mookata. Everything's ala carte. The bill came up to slightly below 30$ per pax. I would say the food is good and I will be back!!

We all bunned up our hair to brace ourselves from the smell that was gonna stay in our hair for days!

Source of Jason's happiness: The cake. 

JH meticulously removing the wax on the cake.

Happy birthday loverboy! 

I'm losing count of the birthdays we've celebrated together;

and you should also start losing count of mine. 

I love ya. X.